Monday, December 5, 2011

生日

刚才收拾抽屉时,看回朋友们送我的礼物……好多东西浮现在我脑海里……
今年的生日……和以前不一样,因为我不是一个人过得……虽然以前有着很多在facebook上的祝福也有朋友替我庆祝过,但是没今年来的特别的……现在才来说我的生日……太迟了吧?……还好啦~~至少我还来得及把回忆转化为文字来收藏……
今年收了三个蛋糕……第一个蛋糕时来得特别的搞笑~~因为在蛋糕出现之前我已经知道了他们的计划我可爱的housemate们……哈哈……就无意间在那只猪的房间玩着他的电脑时,他的fb有人找他……就在那把电脑抢回去的一瞬间,看到了几个字,几个关键的字……整个计划就被我猜透了~~为了让他们有时间准备,猪把我赶走了……没关系~~也好……本想先把衣服洗干净后和就可以和他们一起度过我人生20岁的第一刻……可是就是手脚慢,洗到一半他们就敲我房门咯……哈哈……他们就是这么的搞笑……捧着一个融了一半的冰淇淋蛋糕从楼下走来到我房间,真的凡走过比留下痕迹……每走一步,就流下一滴冰淇淋……你们真的超搞笑的说!!!不过没关系…我就是喜欢你们够搞笑……这个蛋糕是令我笑得最开怀的蛋糕!!!!!谢谢你们^^
第二个蛋糕,来得惊喜……当时的我很emo……想着一些有的没的~~而且很老实的讲一句,我没想过他们我的coursemate会送我蛋糕……虽然上课时,有怀疑过他们,可是那种念头很快就消失了……然后又回到自己的世界,继续幻想有的没的,等待着电话和面子书……可是电话始终没响过,也没有出现在我面子书中~~也不要想太多……我是在等一个中学同学的电话……和那个朋友蛮好的说~~就算了吧……就在我跟那只猪在诉说着我的烦恼时……电话来了,跑回家后……真的吓了我一下……这就是所谓的惊喜咯=)不过,很对不起的……在那一刻虽然很感动,可是,当时的我真的很emo,想了很多东西,一下调不回来……脸色有点不好看……不好意思…………可是真的很谢谢他们……因为这个蛋糕真的是令我最惊喜的~~……谢谢你们……
第三个蛋糕时来得最自然的……跟我相熟的老朋友和着茶,突然一个蛋糕从我旁边出现……不会很惊,但很喜……哈哈……他们的用心……深深的印在我的心……其中一个朋友,他算是最懂我的吧……以前我们曾住在一起,也很老实的说一句,曾经与一段时间很讨厌他……不要问为什么……因为以前是自己想不通~~不过都过去了……他现在是我在他们之中接触最多的那个……对他真的有点愧疚……他在我生日时都不会忘了我的礼物……可是在他生日时,他的礼物我都没准备……我人都不在怡保,而且他的生日都在我忙得不可开交的日子……真的很对不起!!……他送我的礼物,都很特别的……卡片里的都是一些一针见血的话……可能大家一起生活过……他所说的……真的真的超窝心的!!!!……维玲,多亏你,我的笑容现在是公认的灿烂……XP
朋友们,谢谢!!!!!!!
家人们!!!谢谢你们!!!

Monday, November 7, 2011

我回来啦……太久没来留言了……

不知不觉,已经开学了快一个月了……空虚……这学期有够力的咯……开学会去第一天就撞到一个小弟弟,真的吓死我了!!还好那小弟弟没事,在我跑去他旁边之前他已经爬起来了……我当下真的慌了……一直问他,你有弄伤哪里吗?头有受伤吗?要去看医生吗?把你电话给我吧 ……那小弟弟一直说没事~不需要……他说要去朋友家,我也就去看了他几次……他都说没事,那我才放心店,不然我的日子真不好过……
衰开有条路~~隔天我就食物中毒了……睡到半夜,甜得很的时候,醒了一下,肚子有点不舒服,还以为肚子饿了……怎么知道,突然间那种感觉来了〉把晚饭吐出来了T_T……当我以为吐完就会没事的时候,又来了……饭吐完了,就吐水、黄疸水……跑完出来了!!吐没关系,可是在那天吐真的有关系……那天是我考MUET的大日子叻~本以为能撑到考完就去看医生……可是想下想下,万一在考试途中有吐呢?……还是去看医生吧……吐了四、五次,整个人软掉了……真的有车也没用……只好找救兵救救我~~在等待考试的时候才真的辛苦……由于看完医生还在吐,所以就连水也不敢喝,而且当时不懂为什么发烧了……在等待期间,水不能喝,体温也随着升高……说真的,当时除了累,真的什么紧张也没有~好不容易考完了,真想回去躺在床上,实在是不舒服到一个点~又要等那守时的巴士~~总共被那不舒服的感觉折磨了几个小时……回到去,吃了两口面包就睡了~一直到晚上吃多两口面包,吃药就睡了~当时才7点多而已,就那样睡到天亮了~到了第二天,真的超无力的打电话回家求救……就这样,爸爸--我的超人,把我给接回家了~~

回家后,家人的百般照顾……可以说没事了~~可是就在你以为没事的这个时候,往往事情又发生了!!这次不是吐,是泻~~一小时不懂上了多少次厕所~泻得有够无力的~~爸爸永远是那么的细心,反而妈妈还呼呼大睡~~爸爸心疼的脸,我还记得很清楚~他叫我进医院,可是我就是不肯~~爸爸的细心感动了我……你们知道的,我是用水做的,泪就很自然流出来了~~爸爸擦掉我的眼泪说,不要就不要啦,别哭了~~他以为我怕痛了……爸爸,其实不是的~~

我跟爸爸,比起父女,比较像buddy~~爸爸,跟我的沟通方式,真的比较像朋友~~而且是疼我的朋友哦~~他很能讲笑~~也会听你的心事,看你要不要告诉他罢了~突然间好想他~~

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

放手……

人,就是如此奇怪……可以用犯贱来形容吧~~有些坏的东西,你想把它抓住,但是不由得你不去放手,否着会造成伤害,自己内疚……有些好的东西,你明明可以抓住好好珍惜,可是你却偏偏要把它放走,也是造成伤害,不过伤的是别人的好意……还有到最后自己不好受……人啊,你又何必如此犯贱呢?……

不过,林峰唱得,还有这个好友……人嘛,最重要的还是要有双耳朵听你说手~~~
人啊,you have to learn how to take the first step……要不然,你永远都会原地踏步!!!!!

Friday, September 2, 2011

有感而发……is it inspiration?..

最近有些事……都令我很把它抒发出……之前一直有想把它写出来,就可使因为自己的cincai懒惰,就当没一回事了……其实也不是什么不开心的事啦……只是想主题一样,有感而发……考试快到了,可是却没心情读书温习……还有七天就考试了,心还真的不懂去了哪里。现在的我啊,可是刚把东西丢一边来这里偷懒……

在你们眼中,我给你们的印象是怎样,我不在乎……曾几何时,我还真的很看不开的……不过时间真的会改变一些东西……有些事,真的在乎不了这么多……也许我真的是典型的双子座吧……我还真的不了解自己……有人说我个性开朗、悲观、脆弱、坚强、白目、认真、拘谨、放纵……以上种种,我还真的不懂那个是我的个性……脑子里,想法、看法、观感……总是不只有一个罢了……自己到底喜欢什么、讨厌什么,到今时今日我还找不到specific的答案……所以你可能会看到很多个不一样的我……所以嘛,我就干脆做个空壳吧……不过前提的是,要是美丽能干的空壳……你们可能有时搞不懂我在想什么,神经兮兮的…………衷心跟你们道歉和谢谢你们你们的关心和容忍……我想说,我所说的没一句道歉和谢谢都是衷心的,这个我很恨清楚,虽然我搞不懂我自己个性想什么……如果我的行为或道歉有若毛过你的话……paiseh……


Thursday, September 1, 2011

煎熬……

考试前的日子,每一天都是煎熬的日子……可能是我悲观吧……真的很难过叻……考试啊考试……你能快点过完吗?……给你折磨得很累叻……

Saturday, August 20, 2011

end..

now is almost the end of the trimester...Now is the time to end everything, neither academic or personal issue. Luckily and finally,I found the balance point already...On the beginning pf this trimester I was really feel uncomfortable with everything, balance point was lost...Haha, I finally found it back...

I not going to denial that I always lost my balance point easily. Sze has asked me before, is that something happened last time?..Such a good question for me...In memory, nothing special happened, just like a normal kid..Got a few thing I can remember but not that clear..It's a memory in kindergarten. I have told a lie to my mom that I was being bully by my friend ( till nowadays I still can't remember whether he's really bullied me or I hate his face and tell this lie)and my mom go to find that kesian child when she send me to school...My mom is fierce lo...Really very sorry, that child. I only remember till this part. I have try my best to recall back on why I have to tell this lie.So sorry.

Other things, my mom always cane me and throw me outside the house till my neighbor still remember about it nowadays. So many video appear in my mind now...My daddy is hug me when he is doing orders of  the customer (my parents was open restaurant last time)..and me and my parents always go to cinema and shopping during weekend by Proton saga o..haha...I using saga nowadays but it's new version. My mom told me that last time there are 2 version of saga in the balcony of the house in Sungai Siput..but sagas leave us one by one after restaurant closed and when my parents buy the house that I was staying now...After that, the only transportation in my home is bicycle..Haha, I was smiling now, you know why??..Really many "video" about the bicycle with me and my parents..

When there is only bicycle as our main transportation, my parents are really no choice, They have to fetch me by bicycle, but I can't remember whether my mom fetch me more or my daddy fetch me more..But what I can remember is my daddy..Haha, my daddy is really funny. When my mom is staying in hospital to give birth for my sister, he always fetch me to eat "wan tan mee" by using that bicycle..I was 7yrs old that time and going to school by bus, Before I enter the bus, I asked my dad, you will cook tonite rite??I was naif and trusted my daddy that he can cook. When I'm happy to see him after get out from the bus, he told me that, "Come, we go out and eat!!".haiz..Can you imagine, the road condition last time was worst and I was sitting behind on the bicycle?I was really bored when my mom staying in hospital and in my grandma house. Every morning I have to go to my neighbour's house while my father is going out to work. My neighbor is a tuition teacher, so, it's normal to call me to do exercise every morning  till my father get me chicken rice and accompany me to waiting for bus.I also wonder how I survive with that bored...

My daddy really sayang me..hehe...that day my mom told me that my daddy has fetch me to funfair last time by bicycle. That funfair quite far away from my house, it's opposite to Emas nowadays..Haha..TQ daddy, saranghae..^^

Sunday, August 14, 2011

学习着慢慢走出来……

我还在学习着慢慢走出来,因为我做不来……时间,果然是灵丹……现在说不痛是假的,但至少,真的没以前刚开始时那么痛了……睡眠也比以前好了……但是黑眼圈比以前严重了......T_T

Monday, July 25, 2011

带我走……who can bring me go away??or lead me out??

I'm damn tired....feel bored..stress......who can lead me out??I feel lost again...why and when I lost...I don't know....When I was tired...the place that I miss so much is my home, my parents' smile....Sorry daddy, don't miss me so much..I know you miss me..How I know??Your voice told me...I will going back on this weekend...and please don't worry for me to stay in Kampar here...

Monday, July 4, 2011

泪……

泪……你可以变重一点吗?……你太轻、太容易滑下来了……你太容易落下了…还是控制你的神经线变了才让你弄得如此容易滑落?……神经线,你能变坚强点吗?……

我承诺过我自己,我不会再为这些事,留下一滴眼泪……刚开始时我以为我做到了……但到了今天,我才发现……我根本做不到……

你可以坚强一点吗??

Monday, June 27, 2011

Lost...

I have a long time didn't update anythings here-around 2 months and 21 days. There has some changes in that 2 month days.The first that I have to congratulate myself is that I have became a Year 2 student, hwaiting!!Finish your studies in 2013 sharply!!!......Maybe you will think that I was crazy...haha...I really crazy  already.Actually  I feel lost since this sem start. Maybe can say that I never laugh and smile "sincerely". You maybe feel nothing wrong with me, saw me smile, laugh and so on...but actually when I went back and think it back, can't make me smile again and stay down till sleep. Thats why I always go to Yuan's room after I settle everything and only back when I feel tired.

I can say that I feel lonely since this sem start. This feeling has follow me since last sem, but this time, it has becomes stronger and stronger. Maybe what sian said is true, is my "psycho effect".......

You may not understand what I wrote...because I also don't know what I writing....I really feel lost at this moment....

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

笑容smile...

Well, I have such a long time didn't post any new thing in this blog. Nevermind, only few people know about this blog. Now is week 12 of the Year 1 Trimester 3. I feel tension right now. All because of MY DEAREST lecturer, Ms. S. I didn't see the actual updated barlist of English for Mass Comm, thats why I tension. This sem is really stress enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I worry on everythingss!!!CGPA!!financial problems and so on.....and smile on my face is slowly dissapear from my face. Just like what Hebe sang: 对着镜子我承诺,迟早我会还这张脸一堆笑容……I have promised myself, I will smile more...but I know that, I need a long long time...

Everythings that happened recently were not that smooth....made my tired sad enough~~both from physically and mentally...stressful~~~too many things happened...

是我做梦你有改变什么……对着镜子我承诺……迟早我回环这张脸一对笑容~~可是那一堆笑容要等一段时间才会回来……你的一推……我不懂是有心还是无心……好像把我推得好远……我最害怕的东西出现了——距离感……是我敏感了吧……我最近都很down……想很多东西……我真的很累……唉~~

Monday, January 24, 2011

May Sian~~~SUPRISE!!!!

haha,sian.....actually is nothing suprise la~~~~hahaha.....u sudah terperangkap!!!!!!haha....nevermind....have you suprised when you log in my blogger???...hahah.....can u get the CNY feel??...actually...i reali hope can suprise you...but i don know wat can suprise u...XD....go and sleep early ba~~nitez..XP