end..

now is almost the end of the trimester...Now is the time to end everything, neither academic or personal issue. Luckily and finally,I found the balance point already...On the beginning pf this trimester I was really feel uncomfortable with everything, balance point was lost...Haha, I finally found it back...

I not going to denial that I always lost my balance point easily. Sze has asked me before, is that something happened last time?..Such a good question for me...In memory, nothing special happened, just like a normal kid..Got a few thing I can remember but not that clear..It's a memory in kindergarten. I have told a lie to my mom that I was being bully by my friend ( till nowadays I still can't remember whether he's really bullied me or I hate his face and tell this lie)and my mom go to find that kesian child when she send me to school...My mom is fierce lo...Really very sorry, that child. I only remember till this part. I have try my best to recall back on why I have to tell this lie.So sorry.

Other things, my mom always cane me and throw me outside the house till my neighbor still remember about it nowadays. So many video appear in my mind now...My daddy is hug me when he is doing orders of  the customer (my parents was open restaurant last time)..and me and my parents always go to cinema and shopping during weekend by Proton saga o..haha...I using saga nowadays but it's new version. My mom told me that last time there are 2 version of saga in the balcony of the house in Sungai Siput..but sagas leave us one by one after restaurant closed and when my parents buy the house that I was staying now...After that, the only transportation in my home is bicycle..Haha, I was smiling now, you know why??..Really many "video" about the bicycle with me and my parents..

When there is only bicycle as our main transportation, my parents are really no choice, They have to fetch me by bicycle, but I can't remember whether my mom fetch me more or my daddy fetch me more..But what I can remember is my daddy..Haha, my daddy is really funny. When my mom is staying in hospital to give birth for my sister, he always fetch me to eat "wan tan mee" by using that bicycle..I was 7yrs old that time and going to school by bus, Before I enter the bus, I asked my dad, you will cook tonite rite??I was naif and trusted my daddy that he can cook. When I'm happy to see him after get out from the bus, he told me that, "Come, we go out and eat!!".haiz..Can you imagine, the road condition last time was worst and I was sitting behind on the bicycle?I was really bored when my mom staying in hospital and in my grandma house. Every morning I have to go to my neighbour's house while my father is going out to work. My neighbor is a tuition teacher, so, it's normal to call me to do exercise every morning  till my father get me chicken rice and accompany me to waiting for bus.I also wonder how I survive with that bored...

My daddy really sayang me..hehe...that day my mom told me that my daddy has fetch me to funfair last time by bicycle. That funfair quite far away from my house, it's opposite to Emas nowadays..Haha..TQ daddy, saranghae..^^

学习着慢慢走出来……

我还在学习着慢慢走出来,因为我做不来……时间，果然是灵丹……现在说不痛是假的，但至少，真的没以前刚开始时那么痛了……睡眠也比以前好了……但是黑眼圈比以前严重了......T_T

带我走……who can bring me go away??or lead me out??

I'm damn tired....feel bored..stress......who can lead me out??I feel lost again...why and when I lost...I don't know....When I was tired...the place that I miss so much is my home, my parents' smile....Sorry daddy, don't miss me so much..I know you miss me..How I know??Your voice told me...I will going back on this weekend...and please don't worry for me to stay in Kampar here...

泪……

泪……你可以变重一点吗？……你太轻、太容易滑下来了……你太容易落下了…还是控制你的神经线变了才让你弄得如此容易滑落？……神经线，你能变坚强点吗？……

我承诺过我自己，我不会再为这些事，留下一滴眼泪……刚开始时我以为我做到了……但到了今天，我才发现……我根本做不到……

你可以坚强一点吗？？

Lost...

I have a long time didn't update anythings here-around 2 months and 21 days. There has some changes in that 2 month days.The first that I have to congratulate myself is that I have became a Year 2 student, hwaiting!!Finish your studies in 2013 sharply!!!......Maybe you will think that I was crazy...haha...I really crazy  already.Actually  I feel lost since this sem start. Maybe can say that I never laugh and smile "sincerely". You maybe feel nothing wrong with me, saw me smile, laugh and so on...but actually when I went back and think it back, can't make me smile again and stay down till sleep. Thats why I always go to Yuan's room after I settle everything and only back when I feel tired.

I can say that I feel lonely since this sem start. This feeling has follow me since last sem, but this time, it has becomes stronger and stronger. Maybe what sian said is true, is my "psycho effect".......

You may not understand what I wrote...because I also don't know what I writing....I really feel lost at this moment....

笑容smile...

Well, I have such a long time didn't post any new thing in this blog. Nevermind, only few people know about this blog. Now is week 12 of the Year 1 Trimester 3. I feel tension right now. All because of MY DEAREST lecturer, Ms. S. I didn't see the actual updated barlist of English for Mass Comm, thats why I tension. This sem is really stress enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I worry on everythingss!!!CGPA!!financial problems and so on.....and smile on my face is slowly dissapear from my face. Just like what Hebe sang: 对着镜子我承诺，迟早我会还这张脸一堆笑容……I have promised myself, I will smile more...but I know that, I need a long long time...

Everythings that happened recently were not that smooth....made my tired sad enough~~both from physically and mentally...stressful~~~too many things happened...

是我做梦你有改变什么……对着镜子我承诺……迟早我回环这张脸一对笑容~~可是那一堆笑容要等一段时间才会回来……你的一推……我不懂是有心还是无心……好像把我推得好远……我最害怕的东西出现了——距离感……是我敏感了吧……我最近都很down……想很多东西……我真的很累……唉~~

May Sian~~~SUPRISE!!!!

haha,sian.....actually is nothing suprise la~~~~hahaha.....u sudah terperangkap!!!!!!haha....nevermind....have you suprised when you log in my blogger???...hahah.....can u get the CNY feel??...actually...i reali hope can suprise you...but i don know wat can suprise u...XD....go and sleep early ba~~nitez..XP